I always think I will be more consistent here, but then I am not. Somehow it is already almost April. A siege of herons has returned to the river, here. It is strange, because I have spent my entire life living on the edges of one river or another, but I have never seen them circle like this. Each year one or two of the birds greet me as they return to their rook.
The world is full of things which can drag us down, but still I find things that lift me up.
My daughter and I are taking a fiction writing class together. I finished a complete short story draft for the first time in probably twenty years. It needs revisions, but by finished, I mean it has all the essential parts which make a story. After so many years of incomplete starts, I am bolstered. I am already starting my next. For this month’s assignment we all drew cards to determine our main character. Mine is a “washed-ashore cook” My daughter got “diseased faerie.”
I’ve thought about whether I will post a poem scavenger hunt this year, but the truth is, I probably won’t. I wrote a poem this morning that gave me a lot of joy to write. For a long time, I did things one way. I kept too much of my writing life online and tried to herd myself into writing via challenges or feedback. And then for awhile I lost all the joy in it.
Besides being the month of poems, April is the month when every thing speeds up. Birthday parties, school concerts, school expo, carnivals. My sister is due to give birth any week now. It’s become lovely and light enough to walk out side in the evenings.
Recently my daughter and a friend went to a Back to the ’80s dance at her school. When I was my daughter’s age it was 1986. It’s nearly impossible to think of it as a decade distant enough to mandate period costumes, but there you go. Time is ruthless like that. But then I look at the current state of America and wonder if we can’t just fast forward a bit. I need to know this turns out okay. Is all. Uncertainty is a constant, though. Even when it’s not. So I just baby the bits of joy I find. I love on my family. I create other worlds made of words. I stop eating things with faces or mothers. I try to be kind, even to those I disagree with so vehemently it hurts my teeth. I try to remember that everything is a catalyst.
I hope all is well with you.